Travel Through Film

As I was growing up, my family allowed me to see any movie that I chose to. I remember, in Owatonna, MN, my mother would come to the ticket office, and would buy my ticket, give her permission to see rated R movies, and I would watch them alone. It was nice when videos came into play. It was a cleaner exchange. I knew the appropriate movies to show at my birthday parties to my friends, and what movies to NOT speak about. I was the perfect definition of "parental control." It was important for me to see both the sex and violence. I was much more comfortable with violence. Sexuality always seemed dirty, so I would feel ashamed watching it with others. I had no knowledge of the massive molestation and violence in my past and present. My repressed memory was secured at birth. I was not a person who would go out of body at all. These movies actually gave me boundaries based in my emotional reactions to them. I would not get myself in precarious sexual situations in my conscious life with peers or my brother's or sister's friends. I dealt with the adults and that was locked away. Another important thing that the violent movies did was to normalize myself with weird violence that I experienced in my current environment, like a Michael Myers stalker in Owatonna, when I was trick or treating in 5th grade with a female friend. I made peace with The Macabre a long time ago. I could just stand up and make the proper safe choice. It is just never let them see your fear and "slowly, but quickly, move to the exit." Another thing that movies about foreign nations showed me is that there were just a whole lot of places in the world that I did not want to go. It kept me out of LATIN AMERICA and Asia as well. I kept my foreign exchanges pretty American. I went to Appalachia (West Virginia), in High School, for Appalachian Service Project which was a very foreign zone. I went to Jamaica, in college, to study Marine Biology. It was just close enough to the U.S., and it was English speaking. Even though I took French, I was afraid to go to ANY nation whose national language was NOT English. It is the architecture of the disease that is Hollywood that I used to even explain and define SPACE. I can now redefine the realities and no longer be an intellectual and moral slave to Hollywood's guiding demonics.