Pushing the Boulder Up the Hill

I am feeling low and slow today. I have gotten myself downtown to write and I am seeing things through the eyes of darkness. I work so hard, without pay or validation. Am I here at all? For other entities I must field this call. Buddhist mind used to handle depression just doesn't exist outside of my court of law. I feel a break in my belief, but I know that I am here for a reason. My music speaks and sings the songs of breaking my nothingness. I wish I had someone to correspond with, but that is not to be. I am not going to stop being me for anybody. The reprocussions of all of it will be severe. I am trapped here. I say what you need to hear, but I do not exist at all. I was unconscious today. I am so astutely weary. I will see what appears in front of me. Talking from a place of knowing, I see the cards differently. I just toil to put something on the page that is lovely, and maybe French today. Madame Solo-Taylor, did you think that we would ever be here, actually, when you taught me back in 1985? Take them all on with your inner RAGE, and put their deceit, lies, and cruelty on the page. Miscreants and thieves of me always. The laughs were never that good.