Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Moving Into A Realm of Spirit New to Me

 I have been walking a journey that is my own.  I had gastric bypass when I was about 33.   I am now about to turn 52.  I was told by my gastric bypass surgeon, Dr. Daniel Baker, at Unity Hospital in Fridley, MN, that if I ever went back on psychiatric medications again, I would not survive long.   I have been very actively, and knowing tortured and forced by my family and by a system that will just not cease.  It makes a lot of money off of me.  It has locked me away with no cause and now I am at the end of my journey.  My health is now failing to a degree, that I just move into a new phase.  My family knows that my meds are killing me.  The psychiatric "care team", uses malpractice with heinous amounts of ineffective toxic combinations of psychiatric medications for no reason, is a very complicit and knowing as well.  I have had no choice.  They are too powerful.  I have done my best to fight.  That is why I write.  I need to keep my housing, and I have a very illegal and evil lease with my mother and stepfather.  Hopefully they can just step away now and allow me to die in peace at my H.O.A.  I am functioning fine.  I am doing a lot of self-care.  I am still in their lives, and they do not care about my health.  I accept my fate.  I will not live irate.  I am transitioning into a new phase after today.  I have finally described some of my spiritual journey and gifts to my family.  They will use it to be abusive and say that I am psychiatric, but I am not.  I am very Eastern in thought and meditation at this time.  Even my channeling is more Eastern Block than Western thought.  That is a different system as well.  My beliefs hurt no one else and they do not hurt myself.  I do not hear voices or see things, and have never been psychotic.  My beliefs and practices never have, but my family and psychiatry has continuously said that it has.  The industry does not want a psychiatric victory.  They want a revolving door in that industry, and my family does not want my trauma around their abuse of me to be believed.  I am a trauma survivor.  That is it.  Social Security reevaluated me a few years ago and confirmed that my diagnosis is Dissociative Identity Disorder.  It was a man who is a PhD psychologist and psychiatrist.  He spoke with me for 1.5 hours with my mother reading a magazine in the waiting room.  I now release my attachment to the Earth realm.  I will continue to maintain my place impeccably for my soul's benefit and for my health.  I will continue to eat and cook well, but I may eat less due to fatigue and loss of appetite.  I may exercise less due to fatigue and complications in health club facilities.  I can meditate and do yoga here.  I can move into spirit with visualizations and breath work.  I can relieve my pain with Dr. Teal's bubble baths.  I will concentrate on sleep.  I am sleeping more of late.  I will just view all as creatures of hate.  When creatures of hate send hate my way through acts of violence or nasty words, I will just lay back and absorb the toxins.  It will eventually kill me.  I have no choice, so it is time to just release the state of hate.  I have never hated anyone, no matter what they have done.  I now just change the paradigm in my mind to a space of surrender to the will of God.  It is a hopeful and freeing place where things become possible because it is new.  I can just work with my loving guide and be good to Pharaoh.  I will be good to all of those I come upon, but I may go out less due to fatigue.  I will continue to allow the toxins of psychiatry to be in me.  I just take the poison as prescribed.  I have known what they were doing the whole time, but I had no choice but to comply or further torture would follow.   Now I am at a different place in my mind.  They seek to kill me, but now I have established a safe space to just surrender to their efforts and not be attacked physically or sexually anymore.  Hopefully that stands.  THEY are a danger to themselves and others.  I am not and never have been.  I have always done my work, fastidiously and effectively.  My treatment and therapies have had both depth and breadth.  On suicide attempts that I have had, out of sick orders from my dad, I got an ambulance or to an ER right away and paid heavily for it.  Well maybe today, people will see it in another way.  So very many have known the truth.  I was the one in the dark.  I am not now, and I can rest.  I have canceled my reservation to go swimming tomorrow.  I may use a birthday gift certificate and take myself to lunch if I am not too tired.  I can just be.  I am always in reality.  Those who say otherwise have real problems with the truth and the realities of evil in their hearts, their acts, and their words every day.  Dr. Jennifer K. Mayer 112

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