Difficult Discovery

I haven't written in a few days.  My dreams last night were nightmares.  I am taking on the challenges with fatigue.  I just want to quit.  There is no enlightened sense or humor.  I just write because I am called to, but the words barely come.  Nothing of beauty exists within me.  As I see the world, it appears sunny, but I sense grey beneath.  I feel disconnected from all entities.  Maybe a change is occurring that I just cannot see.  Be careful the path you walk, because I now see a karmic reactor in vicinity.  People are drowning in the pools of their laptops, tablets, and cell phones.  I just sit and see and hear nothing at all.  Maybe a kitty cat is brave next to me in bed.  I am here to try and witness the realities of the day.  Maybe the meeting with a Sag. psychic was kismet.  Mirrors exist all around me.  Some realities are being tested in other realms, and I stay here, and conscious of all in front of me.  There are no breakthroughs this week.  I watch the clashing of protesters in The South and I see that both sides are so filled with hate.  Maybe there is an actual righteousness in between.  I see police as confused, but this is what they train for.  It is okay to be confused by the act of others, but solid thinking comes from study of ALL involved.  My dream had such hateful Pagan entities who abuse and confuse.  They make a calling card of evil, and blame all of those with actual stated aversions who choose to stay out of it until it is actual time.  I will never matter in a world like this one.  Everyone just looks away and no type of mastery of schooling or world tradition perfection will ever gain me respect and notarized standing.  All of you will see that it will be all of you next.