What I See

Torture does yield results if you are actually innocent of all wrong doing. I have grown stronger and stronger due to my squeeky clean sexuality and chemical use. I have suffered greatly and kept a divine attitude. I live a life with gratitude for moments free of pain, or the ability to pay for coffee or a meal. I print my woes and rage in a weblog that I do not give to anyone, and tweet as well. I know of your hate and I do not hate as well. Hate is a fixed state. Things are happening and I am able to acknowledge and save instances even during torturous psychiatric interview after interview. You put all your demonic psychosis, rage, violence, and sexual violation on me. Well talk it up, buttercup. There is a THEY out there who is coming for me, even if I have to create them myself. Your acts are recorded and counted as criminal and evil no matter what you CONVINCE yourself they are. There are no safe places for me to release the trauma in day to day. I speak alone in my room to a guide who is sometimes helpful. I try to find the comedy, but there is very little that is funny today. I huge King Kong hand is all I have coming my way. You take and leave me to feel diseased. This is rape, emotionally, financially, sexually, academically, spiritually, and physically. I feel like the place I stay is actually trying to get things right. I just stand back to see.