The Blah of Today

Today is one of those days that I fell like I am playing a disonant version of a masterpeice's harmony.  Moving in cement is the offshoot of the mood that rests in my mind's eye.  I reflect on the hopeful lack of permenance of this monent, as I work to brush my hair and teeth.  I will by the ugly stepchild of a supermodel today.  My thoughts strive at an unreal perfection as I rest with the pigs in the mud.  Thoughts hold me hostage and I pray for the inspiration to finish even this one meditation entry.

Where is the love today?  Where is the compassion for all sentient life that I strive to feel?  I am here and I slash at myself to feel a sense of purpose when I wash myself with a washcloth of worthlessness.  There is a powerlessness to this state and I struggle with the words to describe and understand my internal an external environment.

I fall to my knees to be a helpful voice from the place of the forgotten landfill.  I feel like refuse and I am challanged to see its possibility though I feel its imposition upon humanity.  In times like these I try to remove the dramatic and seek to just relax and stay simple in my expectations and tasks.  In the mists of my struggle I keep my eyes on the prize of just living.  I do not have to seek the chalice of perfection and comparison.  My worth can be seen through the eyes of a baby in a perverbial manger.  I am here to define light in darkness.  I am here to survive the waves of hopelessness to be a beacon to those who face a similar battle.  My mind may be muddy and confused, but I may still be a member of a complex and constantly evovling human race.

I step simply and stop debating my purpose in the human mahem in a mosh pit.  My mind may be my enemy and my friends may exist in the simple beasts of the every day.  Invite the butterflies and canines into view and seek to see and be as they do.  I am more than just what I do.  Walk a gathering spirit in a snow of existance.  Take care and nourish that which I cannot see in the darkness.  I do not feel well and so I need to keep it simple until my spirit cools and my soul calms from the moment's thuder and tumult.  I can begin to make sense of things when tomorrow rises in a dawn of a new day.