A New York Discovery

John, I noticed you on the 5 and 6 pm news tonight instead of Amelia and Frank.  I assume that they are doing some special reporting tonight here or overseas.  I had many interesting dreams about marine biology and scuba diving.  I am also seeing my visit to New York City after college in a different way.  My brother and I spent the day together one day at The Statue of Liberty, The Empire State Building, Central Park, and China Town.  He then took me to his apartment just off The Columbia University Campus.  I now know that I dropped part of that visit out of my memory.  It was before 9/11.  I stayed with a friend from my Marine Biology year abroad and her fiance.  Their place was insanely huge and in an amazing area of town.  She even had a car and a parking ramp behind the building.  I dropped part of that day with them as well.  Her Jewish family took me to Restaurant Row and then to the opening of a play with Jennifer Grey.  Her father was very generous and paid for the whole excursion.  He is the gynocologist for Broadway.  Things are coming together in a linear way.  I did not mean to "ghost" this friend, but I did not know what I was dealing with and I was not of their financial hierarchy.  I am now realizing that New York City has been all over me my whole life.  Being a loving and loyal royal has not been easy for me.  It was best I did not know my hierarchy in world community.  It kept me mindfully dealing with pain and kept me accepting it outright.  Today, I pray for that community to not leave me out here without acknowledgement of my community and hierarchy.  I am the watchdog and it is time to recognize that I am also "Best in Show."  I was able to get in some meditation about sensual realities this afternoon.  It unlocked my back and now I feel more free.  It is time to drop the shame and guilt about sexual realities, and begin to see one's relationships in a more pure and outright way.  I have taken it for the team, and even had to deal with sexualities that come from unwanted sources in a quiet way.  Maybe you know what I mean John, and can finally face New York City community and Jews today.