Holding My Head High

 Today, in a little while, I go to The Joyce Food Pantry.  Life has been so tumultuous of late, and I deal with so much hate, so, just know, I do notice little inconsistencies so that I can be prepared for my own safety and security.  The food pantry did not call me for my appointment like they normally do.  I will make sure that I have my appointment card with me to insure entry and polite service.  I will dress casually, with only ChapStick and eyeliner with my hair in a clip or scrunchie.  I always dress appropriately and casually and do my "shopping" and packing quickly.  I am polite and cordial to the staff.  I am very orderly.  The food pantry is too.  I wish for it to stay that way.  I will just wear the necklace my mother got for me in Ireland that is a Celtic not, and a watch.  I will have my backpack and two reusable bags in that backpack.  I will have my keys, my headphones, and my cell phone.  Depending on the light, I may wear sunglasses.  I have been very tired this week.  I did get to Target yesterday because I really needed kibble for Pharaoh and Dr. Teal's bubble bath that relaxes me with aromatherapy and soothes my pain, actually.  My pain is severe and real.  I take multiple baths a day now.  Ibuprofen does not work for me anymore for any type of pain.  Migraines are part of my every day.  I try to be hopeful, but dealing with chronic pain is very difficult, and having to be strong all the time, keep the smile on for others, and be polite and kind to people who are rude and mean to you is very hard.  People even cross the street, especially if they have dogs, when I am walking down a sidewalk by them.  It is very personal.  It is very intentional.  There is no Minnesota nice for me, I just never had telepathy before, and I just knew when to look away.  I should be so very depressed, but I am a creature that deals well with adversity, and I know not to complain to anybody because no one really cares.  I just keep it here to emote healthy and free myself to create immunity in my body again and not accept their illness my way, and inform to others only when I need to explain why I cannot have constant contact or give of myself to them every moment that they need it.  Because of my financial situation, I have been made to believe that I am the problem, that my "disabilities" are the problem, and I am a burden, but I am actually the imbuement of it all, and I now know it, IN THEORY.  I will just hold my head high and go to the Food Pantry though I do not even want to be seen today or talk to anyone in any way.  I just called an attorney line and a MN Tax Line to ask a question.  The tax line did not have property tax info in the cue of questions and the attorney line said to call the IRS.  I just then sent an email to with the question to The MN IRS.  They said they would get back to me within 3 days.  I just want to insure that I am well informed and that my renter's credit will come on time.  Jennifer