Sweet Feet Patrol

Yesterday, my mother took me for a pedicure at The Marsh.  The woman who did it was the best.  She was like a medical supply company working on my problem toe.  It is amazing that I have that toenail, and TOE at all.  Wilson (Navy Seal), in Muncie, IN, wanted to eat my feet so bad.  If I would have lost even the nail, I would have lost my Chung Moo crew due to the balance problems that would have resulted for all of them.  We then went to Schulers Shoes, Wayzata, MN, and bought a very comfy pair of tan, almost nude colored, sandals.  The staff was so nice and helpful, but, best of all, was my personal cobbler.  He helped me find the right fit and style when I was so very exhausted.  I knew, very quickly, that he was elite.  Maybe I was just mind reading, but I get that he would fit Kim Kardashian when she was in town with her, now ex husband, Kris Humphries.  I get that she needed special fittings because her feet would actually change sizes on different days.  I am guessing that that happened to her because she was very open and famous L.A. notoriety and there are so many underground royals who tunneled through every day.  She was probably a little too high on LSD.  She did not get crazed or crazy, she just got even by buying a new pair of, especially sandals, every day, and NOT giving them to charity.  I am sure that her younger half sisters still have some of these shoes today.  They are kind of collectors of her things like my family is for me because I travel light.  So no, cobbler man, you are not crazy.  My shoe size went from a 9 to a 7.5 right in front of him.  Velcro is the answer, and he heard the call right away.  It was his cheap watch on his athletic wrist, that I identified as the tell that he is ultra gifted, and heinously rich.  He is waiting on accessing his funds, squirreling his trust fund interest checks away, until he can buy a virtual floating city.  He wants a ship for someone special who cannot be seen bu all society.  Maybe I can just feel special that he was so kind to me yesterday.  And yes, I know that your name was not the name on the name tag.  Good idea for that gig.  Ms. Kardashian, never go to that vicinity again.  The military warned you that you would be putting yourself in peril.  I will keep him here, but his number two will go to L.A.  Do not go out late at night, alone.  You have tried on my shoes for 30 seconds, they will never fit you again.