An Arab Trust

Maybe people would say that I am too pie in the sky when I think of this guy.  Who?  The Line Deputy of Marion County.  All I know is that his first touch of my hand was gentle and I felt like one day I could be free.  Well, I believe in Arabs as well.  The combination of the two is cataclysmic in an amazing way.  Maybe they are men of few words, but their thoughts are very deep and penetrating.  I feel like, for the first time, a group of males can exist in an intellectual unity separate from sexuality.  Even as a baby, I felt safe being held by high Arab dignitaries.  They did not project or expect sexual energy or touch.  Too much, too soon, and for too long sex has been a weapon against me that never goes away.  Can't we just have a chat and talk about even theology without ending up in a sexual quagmire?  I have grown tired, and traumatized.  The tunnel through from my family has been strong.  I want NO sexuality from persons linked by blood or marriage, but running the gambit so that my high and holies are not compromised instead, has been torturous.  I have kept myself in one piece, and free from disease, but my self esteem is nonexistent.  This is why I now am so welcoming the presence of Arab glories.  We can speak theory in our heads, and I can be shy.  I can allow the male to make the first move toward even a coy friendship.  Arab men in my life from the past few years can review their mistakes and lift up the royals who wish to act appropriately.  This is just something that I finally needed to put in print as a prayer to stop the molestation in my dreams.  It is horrific and seems unending.  If you are there, you are COWARDS.  GET AWAY from me and find a willing partner already.  I AM angry.