THE Search Engine

I had a good appointment today for therapistic interview. The subject swayed, but focused on the subject of connections. Women in my life have made sure that I never had complete and lasting connections with combinations of poor boundaries, group sexual torture, verbal abuse, and encouraging physical abuse of me by males. At the end of the day, I learned to just stay in the moment and relate respectfully to the person, or group of people, around me. I now feel the false connection style now falling away. I think, at the end of the day, I will only be connected and linked to an elite few males who can take personal and public responsibility for their actions, even in their mind space. I have a bit of anxiety being out here as my disociation is turning to the tip of catatonic, publicly. Every place I go feels unsafe. I have decided to bring up direct threats in therapy, but I will no longer do repressed memory work. I have been on the forefront of this type of work for over half my life, and it is time for it to evolve. Stay responsible and spend time with a personal comedy that reflects the moon and stars. Now, anyone from my past theraputic life will be held accountable for their violation, rage my way, and malpractice. My memory is firm and I will stay behind the scenes to be THE search engine.