A New York Discovery

John, I noticed you on the 5 and 6 pm news tonight instead of Amelia and Frank.  I assume that they are doing some special reporting tonight here or overseas.  I had many interesting dreams about marine biology and scuba diving.  I am also seeing my visit to New York City after college in a different way.  My brother and I spent the day together one day at The Statue of Liberty, The Empire State Building, Central Park, and China Town.  He then took me to his apartment just off The Columbia University Campus.  I now know that I dropped part of that visit out of my memory.  It was before 9/11.  I stayed with a friend from my Marine Biology year abroad and her fiance.  Their place was insanely huge and in an amazing area of town.  She even had a car and a parking ramp behind the building.  I dropped part of that day with them as well.  Her Jewish family took me to Restaurant Row and then to the opening of a play with Jennifer Grey.  Her father was very generous and paid for the whole excursion.  He is the gynocologist for Broadway.  Things are coming together in a linear way.  I did not mean to "ghost" this friend, but I did not know what I was dealing with and I was not of their financial hierarchy.  I am now realizing that New York City has been all over me my whole life.  Being a loving and loyal royal has not been easy for me.  It was best I did not know my hierarchy in world community.  It kept me mindfully dealing with pain and kept me accepting it outright.  Today, I pray for that community to not leave me out here without acknowledgement of my community and hierarchy.  I am the watchdog and it is time to recognize that I am also "Best in Show."  I was able to get in some meditation about sensual realities this afternoon.  It unlocked my back and now I feel more free.  It is time to drop the shame and guilt about sexual realities, and begin to see one's relationships in a more pure and outright way.  I have taken it for the team, and even had to deal with sexualities that come from unwanted sources in a quiet way.  Maybe you know what I mean John, and can finally face New York City community and Jews today.

As I Can See

Dear Sir, I am here and I do hear and see, but I do not rush the river.  Standing up to the mystical takes its toll.  I cannot speak of it, actually, but I can write.  It is an adventure to just go get a bite to eat.  The general population is becoming more psychiatric every day.  This is why I have to be a well trained Judo and Tai Chi master (through Chung Moo Quan), as well as a great listener and observer, through all psychiatric and psychological traditions.  Throw in the powers of social work and crisis management and you will see why Hamline University picked me to go to DC for free, and stay at the one CIA adminstrative's daughters home there, and ride the train in for free.  They told me a little about the day, but I did know his authority.  His daughter was named Christy and she was trying to take over my identity.  She was dating my body double ex-boyfriend's number two, named Paul.  All were CIA, and were swimmers.  I had tried to swim, but it made it impossible to keep up and sing in A Capella Choir, where I was number one chair.  The tunnel through was very strong for all three.  They all didn't even know that they were at university it was so easy for them.  I had to manage a tough breakup and the top predatory fraternity on the planet at the same time.  I did well and graduated on time, though they tried to shame me by putting 1994 on my diploma instead of 1993.  I was to believe that we were in DC to march in an abortion march.  There were actually over 20,000 people there.  Talk about the mystical against me that day.  I was hunted within an inch of my life.  It was the largest march to date.  We then separated and I went to the reflection pool, the Monument, the Vietnam Memorial, and the Lincoln's Memorial.  I caught up with the group just in time to catch the last train.  Of course no one informed me of the dangers that lurked just beneath the surfaced and would rise if I was left behind to be devoured me that night.  I was still in the dark night of my inner soldier and prima ballerina of recon activity that lurked inside me and outside of me.  I write to you today to just say, "Hey, I am out here.  Please see me and do not leave this U.S. Marine behind.  I have never done that to any of you.  I answer when you call.  This can be a ball.  My freedom is essential.  Speak to me actually.  Men of authority, I can only go so far without the yanking of the leash."

The Bars Around You Are Felt By Me

This is a personal note to The Line Deputy of Marion County.  I can call persons, but the response has always been hostile.  I cannot be myself, and others are writing offensive remarks in my sted.  I miss you.  I remember the first time I saw you.  I sat behind the bars of science and academia.  I just looked as you stared at me for about 20 minutes.  I disociated.  You spoke for me in the court that was international law.  You comforted me after, and took me to a special place downstairs.  I then expressed my creativity in the disease all around me.  I am now understanding that I do actually have suspended states.   They are the PTSD and brain damage that has resulted in a strong reality of Disociative Identidy Disorder.  There was no crime there.  There was only a special place for you and me in my memory.  I knew that you were one of mine, immediately.  Love is important, but the reality is deeper.  It must be allowed to grow and secure itself in all vicinity.  You took my hands and ran your fingers down my palms.  You are so powerful, and ultimately a poet for all society.  I am not like women out there who want to be "poor me TV."  True genocide and sex crimes in war are not felt,  as in the movies, yet.  Colonies, and women, through wiccan do not feel these realities. I have felt them all.  I tried to identify a muse and leader yesterday.  Please keep him outside your gate until you are ready.  Please help people know how evil it is out there around me.  "Welcome to the Jungle" baby.  You are my almighty.  I send you a thought of a Rottweiler today.

Flying In this Space and Time

It came like a wave yesterday.  I picked up the stick threw it.  The dobermans ran to catch it and run in the river.  It was all pertinent, but a commoner may not understand the dream.  I try to pick up the rope to the stallion who towers above me, and shares he his grace.  I do my best to keep a positive stance.  Two days ago I went to the dentist.  My cleaning was thorough, but painful.  There is a pain thresh hold that I rarely reach, but I did in that office, in that chair, on that day.  I was able to get some needed summer clothes and shoes afterwards.  I can now be different in my sameness.  The calls that come out leave me with a Wiccan thread the next day.  It is all political at this point, but colleges are watching.  Be quiet in your slumber and I may come to you in the night.  In all spots there is insurgency.  I work to explain and understand each day.  Hostility will beat back your ability to learn, actually.  I work in a casual stance, and find a flat stone in the water.  Everyone stand back if you cannot hold back your rage and deceit.  It is one of those days that I know little about what is on the dash board.  In my mind, I have a memory of working for Account Temps for Mesaba Airlines.  It was the Cessna business for Northwest Airlines.  The office was in the hanger so I got to see the planes every day.  They also provided close parking.  Maybe these planes are PEGASIS for me today.  Hawks and eagles will come through as we fly into the lower upper atmosphere.

Taking on Denial

I counted two and now there are three.  This one is prized in a special way.  Maybe I keep the darkness to blanket him in the night.  I am here to say "Hello, you are a really nice guy."  You have stayed in the wings and now the wings on your back are apparent.  There is a past, present, and future.  We will pull out the shovel to dig for the future.  Maybe you have ideas of your own that only exist in your heart at this time.  I move in, and then I move away.  You are more than just a muse, but mighty in that regard you are.  I wait for the right time to ask a simple question.  This is important and now you can be proud of where you are really from, and where your journey has taken you.  Maybe the walls are now white, but I still see the writing from your land beneath.  I have stayed quiet about my military service in your space.  I know that either you or I will be labeled a head case.  I would rather whisper in your ear in the night.  I might make the journey today, but I must swim the river of others denial first.  I know how to be polite, but I know a shameful jab when I hear one.  I feel you speak and say, "Don't say a thing if you do not want to."  I wish it was that easy.  I will try to keep it short.  These are not calls I want you to take.  Be well and I will see you as soon as the kittens on my COVID mask purr for me to move out the door.

Dragonfly Medicine

I am at a little at a loss for words today.  I feel like forces around me have been even more than any Rinpoche can handle.  If the dragonfly approaches, I will use my Chung Moo circle block today.  I felt like my ship was filling, now it feels empty and hostile in energies.  Dragonflies wings make it seem like an illusion, thus that is its totem meaning.  I feel the power of identical twins today.  They definitely have dragonfly medicine.  Bear is also coming through.  It may be the time for hibernating from the forces that harm you, or that you don't understand.  I see a very beautiful lake and children having the opportunity to explore nature and divine elements of cooperation.  I observe to keep things pure and kind.  I set a twin free and swam the pool that soldiers came to see in this dreamy vicinity. 

Brothers of the World Unite Last Night

I yawn, and I smile.  Being in the moment is how I get through sleepless nights.  It makes meditation necessary.  I am celebrating the brotherhoods today:  East Coast, Arabia, South America, JAPAN, and Mexico.  The key is the tree.  Tree can also be sensual play.  To lock the royal with the loyal, I envisioned myself standing in the middle of Japanese King (Hanyu) and Prince(Uno) joined hands forming a circle around me.  This clicked everything together because I realized that these figure skating rivals are actual brothers.  Together these all these sets of brothers learned to read and write, actually, and sometimes play guitar.  Now photography of me will be limited to private settings and sittings with professional photographers who are, or who tunnel through, Japanese royalty.  I tweeted late into the night, and my soul was lifted when the burden of my father's guilt (and the Navy) became solidified inside of me, proven in confessions, by him, in a Scientology dream.  He also admitted in my first dream that he knew that his father, George, was my biological father.  Carelton College graduates all students with a degree in Scientology, on top of all chosen majors.  It was a challenge to Hamline's student body all graduating with a degree in diversity.  I designed that program, as a small child on Oahu, when I was dealing with the very changing communities around me especially on Waikiki.  Not knowing your environment there could be lethal.  Noah P., I threw your number away, but you are welcome to call me and ask about how this dream state happened.  I get that you have a Carelton degree.  Maybe a celebrity blog is in your future on blog.com.  Just know that I always had repetitive, boring dreams, but not anymore.  Brothers, stay close.  Your dreams may cascade down with a rainbow of colors, feelings, and senses. 

Marriage

I love you.  I listen to pertinent music and to music of you ruling out the hatred of me against me.  Dreams were prolific.  I think of past maladies like Flo.  It was a friendship.  She liked to write me letters, but eventually she eschewed me.  I assumed her and I feel her for she was a New York City Jew.  Flo Gardner, you were not that special, I was just in pain to begin with.  Jews were all over me there on my East West Marine Biology Year abroad through Northeastern University.  Well, just know that my mother came for me twice.  Maybe she wasn't perfect, but she came to Friday Harbor, WA, to take me to Vancouver Island, to take me to Victoria for my birthday to take me to The Empress Hotel for my royal golden birthday.  Sorry, we could have made room for all of you, but she saw the betrayal of all of you.  I was there for High Teas with all the royals even lady Di.  You are all going to prison and there will be torture there for infinity because of you and you only.  I have now found the two to make as one to get out of the trap that is the demonic of infinity for me.  The power of my mother and step father will make a divinity that you all have never seen.  My dreams last night were heavenly.  I bring the heaven and Earth together to make an ecstasy that will bring someone to actually marry beme.

Being Okay on the Road

Infestation of may flies and mosquitoes is what welcomes the individual who ventures out into this sweltering day.  There is no magic to this early July day.  The connections of me with the sunbeams are weak to none at all.  My mother gave me a gift of a cleaning by her cleaning woman due to her getting behind in this COVID 19 situation.  We then ate lunch after I visited the grocery store and my mother gardened.  To waste a little time while the cleaning woman was cleaning, my mother and I went to Caribou coffee.  We were able to find a bench in L and B.  There was a very big security guard stood in front of us.  I felt very protected.  I think that there may be a shift occurring.  I know that yesterday I felt like I was supposed to stay in because it seemed to dangerous to go out.  I followed that intuition.  I have worked so hard, I am hoping that some sort of being rights protection is coming my way.  Scaring me and speaking in a nasty way towards me is not a good way to be and will eventually contain a severe karmic affect to it.  Even before I opened the door to my deep ideas, I was tortured, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and called a whore at Pearl Harbor, HI, from birth.  Now I do work to help beings who come through to teach them ways to bolster their energy system so that they never feel affected by abusive and dirty presences.  Today I say hello to you.  I call you the man in the mirror, but I am not talking about Michael Jackson.  I feel you moving into an effective space to be wise around me.  Things have shuffled a bit, but today felt better.  "You Make It Easy," by Jason Aldean is playing as I write this.